I’m not the protagonist of a novel or anything…I’m a college student who likes to read, like you could find anywhere. But if, for argument’s sake, you were to write a story with me in the lead role, it would certainly be… a tragedy Damn calm your savvy Kaneki it doesn't avail you any...

This sounds like they're going to have a splendid time trying to talk optimism into someone... That or they'll traumatize that poor soul.