[The kiss means nothing to him beyond as a physical demonstration of acknowledgment from Junko, but he's distracted enough to have a hard time paying attention to even that. The ecstasy of delight and despair on Junko's face, in her eyes, in her voice, in her actions...
He doesn't know what it means. He's not sure anyone but Junko could possibly tell. She might be delighted because something's gone right for her, or she might be delighted because something's gone horrifically wrong with her and she loves the despair that brings. They're both equally likely possibilities, he feels; he knows all about greeting horrific events with cheer, if not outright excitement and anticipation.
That said, while he doesn't know which it is...a shudder runs through his entire body. It's a feeling so overwhelming that it can't even be defined as something as one-faceted as pleasure or fear. It's raw sensation itself, running along his spine, similar to what he'd felt when he'd first heard Junko's voice.
But whatever his spine is doing, his gut is having a reaction of its own. A sinking feeling. A bad feeling. Something's wrong. He doesn't know what it is yet, but...he has a sense for his luck, the tides of fate that have dictated his whole life. And right now, that intuition is telling him that even if he doesn't know how yet...his luck has backfired hideously on him, and the consequences are hurtling toward him.
Compared to that, Junko's grip on his throat barely even registers. Sure, it's getting hard to breathe and even harder to speak, but why would he care about that?
He almost asks if she wanted them to kill each other, but then pauses. Of course she did. She arranged the original killing game, and the source of Monokuma in the Neo World Program was easy to trace through the blatant similarities to it, so she was responsible for that, too. But only now, being thanked by her, does it occur to him to think beyond his kneejerk revulsion and self-loathing of their roles as Ultimate Despair.
That Junko wouldn't want them dead because they were Ultimate Despair isn't even a complication, nor does Komaeda consider it one for any length of time. Everything he's read about Ultimate Despair had told him not to expect any kind of coherent logic, compassion, or even any sense of self-preservation from them. But in the original killing incident, she'd gone to such lengths because the murders were meant to serve a greater purpose. She was broadcasting them to the world, to spread her despair more completely. Every death...had been for the purposes of creating further despair for the world to be drowned in.
His eyes widen slightly as he stares past her, over her.
Even if the people he'd tried to kill had been Ultimate Despair...if Junko served some despair-filled agenda with their deaths, would the destruction of despair still be synonymous with the creation of hope?]
...what was your goal for the killing game on the island? [His voice is hoarse for more reasons than just his throat being compressed. Junko will see that he's already starting to put the clues together. Komaeda's actually exceedingly intelligent, and quick to put together complex scenarios from relatively few clues - but he has a number of blind spots. Primary among them are self-esteem, hope, and despair. Junko's ensured that he fell victim to all three at once, catastrophically.
Komaeda's smart, but he's not on Junko's level. But then, few people are, and no amount of aspirations on Komaeda's part can take him that far. Especially when his weaknesses lie so easily within reach inside Junko's wheelhouse.]
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He doesn't know what it means. He's not sure anyone but Junko could possibly tell. She might be delighted because something's gone right for her, or she might be delighted because something's gone horrifically wrong with her and she loves the despair that brings. They're both equally likely possibilities, he feels; he knows all about greeting horrific events with cheer, if not outright excitement and anticipation.
That said, while he doesn't know which it is...a shudder runs through his entire body. It's a feeling so overwhelming that it can't even be defined as something as one-faceted as pleasure or fear. It's raw sensation itself, running along his spine, similar to what he'd felt when he'd first heard Junko's voice.
But whatever his spine is doing, his gut is having a reaction of its own. A sinking feeling. A bad feeling. Something's wrong. He doesn't know what it is yet, but...he has a sense for his luck, the tides of fate that have dictated his whole life. And right now, that intuition is telling him that even if he doesn't know how yet...his luck has backfired hideously on him, and the consequences are hurtling toward him.
Compared to that, Junko's grip on his throat barely even registers. Sure, it's getting hard to breathe and even harder to speak, but why would he care about that?
He almost asks if she wanted them to kill each other, but then pauses. Of course she did. She arranged the original killing game, and the source of Monokuma in the Neo World Program was easy to trace through the blatant similarities to it, so she was responsible for that, too. But only now, being thanked by her, does it occur to him to think beyond his kneejerk revulsion and self-loathing of their roles as Ultimate Despair.
That Junko wouldn't want them dead because they were Ultimate Despair isn't even a complication, nor does Komaeda consider it one for any length of time. Everything he's read about Ultimate Despair had told him not to expect any kind of coherent logic, compassion, or even any sense of self-preservation from them. But in the original killing incident, she'd gone to such lengths because the murders were meant to serve a greater purpose. She was broadcasting them to the world, to spread her despair more completely. Every death...had been for the purposes of creating further despair for the world to be drowned in.
His eyes widen slightly as he stares past her, over her.
Even if the people he'd tried to kill had been Ultimate Despair...if Junko served some despair-filled agenda with their deaths, would the destruction of despair still be synonymous with the creation of hope?]
...what was your goal for the killing game on the island? [His voice is hoarse for more reasons than just his throat being compressed. Junko will see that he's already starting to put the clues together. Komaeda's actually exceedingly intelligent, and quick to put together complex scenarios from relatively few clues - but he has a number of blind spots. Primary among them are self-esteem, hope, and despair. Junko's ensured that he fell victim to all three at once, catastrophically.
Komaeda's smart, but he's not on Junko's level. But then, few people are, and no amount of aspirations on Komaeda's part can take him that far. Especially when his weaknesses lie so easily within reach inside Junko's wheelhouse.]